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03 August 2007 @ 05:59 am
the hot but unattainable older guy is just that. hot but unattainable. time to set my sights on someone new. like the cute short tisoy that visually reminds me i still have not gone to confession.
02 August 2007 @ 01:42 pm
my life sucks. my work is horrible. i have no one who loves me romantically. adn i'm just so fucking fat and depressed all the fucking time. there should be a time limit for this. i should be past this and yet i'm so fucking not.
22 July 2007 @ 05:53 am
i swear, i'd be all yours.

had we met a few years, hell, even a few months before now, things could have been a whole lot different. instead of me staring at you from across the room, smiling sheepishly, making small talk and timing my schedule so i can bump into you accidentally-on-purpose, we could have been hooking up, getting drunk, and having fun. but these things were not meant to be...wrong place at the wrong time? we're just under the wrong circumstances? and we're slowly going nowhere... and it's all in my head, with no factual basis that we could ever have a relationship anywhere past the great friendship we have right now. when i eat lunch, you catch me watching you sometimes, looking forlorn, not knowing that i was wondering what could have been had we had more time together.

i'll never know, won't i?
18 July 2007 @ 03:13 am
and i'm NOT sorry. you deserved it, and we had our fun, such a shame that you turned out to be a clingy demanding pain in the ass. i thought it was clear, and i didnt want to change the rules. what's done is done, and i thought you understood, i didnt want things to change and you didnt want things to stay the same. it's better this way.

you'll forgive me in time. and i won't need to apologize.
03 July 2007 @ 06:47 pm
,i just got home from a long day at work. things have been going well for me at work although most of the time when i come home i feel immeasurably drained.

i've been thinking a lot lately about pursuing the field i studied but i don't know if i can do this and not miss the money.

my lovelife is crap although there are a lot of cute guys in the office (not in my process though. wah. they all need a serious style overhaul) as for the guy who's dancing his little heart out, fuck him.
02 July 2007 @ 09:11 am
it feels nice to be a homebody today, i have nowhere to go nothing to do...okay so maybe later i would want to get my nails done but apart from that, i can just lay around and sleep until these eyebags have gone. i have work tomorrow which sucks, i just have one day off for this week. but i guess that's alright. it's the transition week and i really want to make this work...

sleep beckons.
27 June 2007 @ 12:02 am
it's been months since i heard from him, which is odd since he was always the one with internet access, who would stay up all night checking out random websites. i hope he's okay, his silences have never been this long. oz seems so far away, and i miss the charmer a helluva lot. i wonder if he has a family yet. dewi and i arent close, so i have no idea what happened...

daddy anjo!!! asan ka ba?
because that's the only reason i can think of for me to eat a huge t-bone steak, follow it up with four slices of french toast and a cup of mashed potatoes, and still have room for chocolate cake from starbucks.

and it wasn't like "takaw-mata", i was really really hungry. i had hung out with my officemates the night before, and i had eaten a lot for my lunch, but when tina called, saying she wanted to have dinner, all of a sudden i wanted spareribs, or steak. usually my cravings are for girly comfort food, like sushi, or pasta. not today. i wanted a manly hunk of meat (i'm talking about food here, guys), potatoes, and gravy. but where to eat steak in bf?

we couldnt think of anywhere to do that had steak and potatoes, so we decided to go korean, at least there would be grilled beef. but since neither of us had a car, we didn't want to go that far from starbucks, so we decided on pancake house. oh well. 7 pm rolled around, all i could think of was steak.

that's when i saw the magic words hanging in the window. tbone steak! i was so happy it was ridiculous.

that is one huge steak, and i finished all of it. seriously. i was thinking protein deficiency all throughout the night. the waiter was looking at us strangely, and he had this look on his face, like " are you starving?" i bet he was laughing under his breath when tina and i ordered food for an entire family. tina had adobo and rice, and bacon waffles.

i was so full i could hardly move, and tina was already making references to "the unborn child". i don't know why but this week i've been craving meat and potatoes. a huge slab of meat seemed like the perfect answer. and it was truly a huge slab of steak. i originally wanted the ribeye, but it was only in the regular size, so i went ahead and got the t-bone steak well done. i've been such a pig this week, i feel like i gained about three pounds, but the scale's holding steady at 100.

anyway, nothing's new. tina's stressing over aj, i'm stressing over arjae and anjo(men with a and j in their names are such stress inducers!) and i have to look for someone to set up joany with---in the office. talk about a lack of choice. i havent met joany yet, so i don't know her type, but she's into short guys.

all the stress about food and pregnancy drove me into a state of paranoia, so much so that tomorrow i'm going to go buy contaceptives.
25 June 2007 @ 10:24 am
coffee is such an addiction. before meeting the girls for dinner, i met tina at starbucks to just relax and have coffee, destress about work,chat about guys, gossip and basically all the things you're deprived of during work hours.

dinner was a blast, eating a huge bowl of soup, having the heart attack special (deep fried butter chicken sounds sooo appetizing to my arteries) feeling guilty and eating braised tofu (too late, after you eat the butter chicken, there's no taking it back) and being overwhelmed by the huge platter of fried rice.

don't you just love comfort food?

i love my friends, even though we're all so different, we can appreciate each other's points of view. the topics of the night revolved around relationships: tina has an inconsistent younger guy currently doing a campus tour, jenna's in love with a much older man (ahem, professor, ahem),liza has a very determined lesbian stalker, kris is forever trying to set us up with random guys, and i...i really have to think about everything. relationships are just so difficult. oh well.

after the recovery period of eating and resting, we tried walking around the night market, which didnt change much since we were there last wednesday. duh. we decided to head over to starbucks for what else, more coffee. being the little old ladies that they are, they had random teas while i had another misto. there were cute guys sitting at the table behind us, and it was entertaining to watch tina try to stop craning her neck to get a better view. it was like seriously bitch can you focus on things other than your hormones for more than 5 minutes, i swear you're worse than a guy sometimes. the one in the jacket was kinda cute.

homeward bound, we hung out at kris' pad to eat more chips and other junk food. kris' family is currently taking care of a little girl, and i really don't like children. never have, probably never will, but then i'm only 20 years old. i don't like children, i have no patience for little kids, especially the cutesy ones. whatever.

around 1 am, they started to get a little sleepy, so they tried for a 10 minute nap, which extended into a 40 minute nap while i was awake the rest of the time---and i was the only one who had work the next day. signs of aging, i tell them. that's the only thing that makes sense.

i'll be meeting tina later tonight, and i'll ask the guy who's dancing his little heart out too. perhaps he's not dancing his little heart out as of tonight.
22 June 2007 @ 09:54 pm
My ultra pretty, ultra smart and sexy older sister (who always gets mistaken for my younger sister, which, no, actually, i do not have) turned 26 today.
happy birthday! i miss you, come home to visit.